Monday, April 6, 2015

Photos or the lack there of...

I've been asked several times in recent months why we don't put our kids names and photos on the internet...

I, forever mom, am particularly sensitive.
I will post pictures of the back of the kids or of their feet, but not their faces. I'm also careful to post stories about them.

After reading this blog entry, Forever Dad said it sounded a little preachy. He is right. It is. I also believe that someone could write a blog entry on the exact same topic. I understand why people post pictures of their kids online... their kids are adorable. In addition to having adorable kids, most of the time, parents are telling their own story, and their kids are part of it. Sometimes, they post for out of town family and friends to keep updated on their life. Believe me... I get it. Several times, I've thought about just ditching the whole thing and posting their pictures... especially when I have a particular cute one.

Part of the reason I don't post is because our kids have hard stuff in their past. We are unpacking that. For us, our kids need to be able to trust us and not constantly worried about what mom or dad is putting on the internet.

1.On the rare occurrence that I post a picture or a story on Facebook or Instagram, there is a 100% chance that someone my kids do not know will try to strike up a conversation with them about the random thing I posted. It is the most natural and easy thing to do. I do the exact same things with my friends kids. "Hey, I saw you won the soccer tournament! Way to go!", "Hey, I saw a picture of you and your dad snuggling yesterday...", or "Hey, how was your trip to the beach!". All of these are harmless conversations but it goes to show that if I post every time my kids to something kid-like, the conversations could be really bad and potentially traumatizing for my kids... "Hey, I saw you haven't done your homework...", "Hey, I saw a picture of that super embarrassing thing your mom posted" or "Hey, sorry you peed everywhere last night, your mom sure had a lot of laundry to do". It feels so "Big Brother" to them. Also, those aren't conversations that are appropriate to have with small kids, so I don't put the story on social media. It really isn't fair to them. Also, I have a pre-teen. He is super sensitive about what people know about him, so I am protective for him.

2. I don't want any pictures of me from 9-14 posted online for anyone to see. EVER! If I do post pictures, I almost always ask their permission.

3. The internet is permanent. As cute as our little kids are, their future employer will be able to see what I've posted for the last 15 years of their lives. I don't want my kid to have to explain every nugget of their online presence.

4. With ever-changing privacy settings, I will never be able to tell who is posting pictures of my children online or where that image may get used.

5. My almost 13 year old is currently obsessed with fame and being famous. Putting photos of him online and having people like it would only add to an ego problem he doesn't need right now. He got such a trip and was so obsessed with the number of likes he got from the 14 hours he had an instagram account, it had to go. It was unhealthy and he was allowing the value of his self worth to be determined by other peoples clicks. I want his value to come from the Lord. I want him to find his self worth in helping others, in doing good and following God... not from likes.

Now, if you are still curious... My kids are TOTALLY adorable. I'm happy to email photos or even send some prints to your local Walgreens for pick up if you want to see photos of their faces.
My kids are really amazing and I'd love to tell stories they will just have to happen in a more old fashioned way.

If you are a picture poster... keep posting pictures. I like seeing you. As for me, I'll keep perfecting the back of the head shot,